Oh, World—thanks again for making this weekly feature so easy!
This time, we go Down Under to New Zealand for our JERK OF THE WEEK:
Sam Bracanov
Okay, even though that over-sized sweater vest may look benign, the kiwi jerk wearing it is looking to do some harm—in particular, to Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall.
From CNN:
The 74-year old man, a known anti-Royalist, was arrested in Auckland on Monday at one of the venues Charles and Camilla were due to visit during their tour, according to a statement from the New Zealand Police.Neither of the British royal family members were in the vicinity at the time, the statement added.
Bracanov was charged with preparing to commit a crime, namely assault, against the royal couple, according to police.
Bracanov had planned to throw a bucket of horse manure at Prince Charles, the New Zealand Herald reported.
Okay, I know you’re chuckling—and so I am, to be honest. A pail of poop for the Prince? Perfect. Not exactly lethal bodily harm, but certainly dramatic enough to send a message. Hey, loonies have used apple pies and glitter to attack public figures, so why not excrement?
And you also may be saying that I’m being a big harsh for declaring this guy a jerk for just wanting to attempt this—heck, some of you may have entertained similar fantasies involving other heads of state. As a matter of fact, I can’t sit here and say that I would be calling anyone a jerk if they had targeted a jerky blowhard sore loser.
But the reason that ol’ Sam wins the title this week is his comments after being released from jail:
“I won’t do it [again this week], I’ve done it once. I was not successful … but there’s always next time.”
Atta boy, Sammy! A true jerk doesn’t let little things like the police or the law stop him from bad behavior.
If you don’t believe me, feel free to put down your poop pail long enough to buy my book!