Aug 082012
 

Who among us doesn’t love a pussy riot? Apparently, this week’s JERK OF THE WEEK!

Vladimir Putin

That’s right comrades, Russian president Vladimir Putin (in red, because he’s a commie, obviously) is this week’s jerk.

Although Putin has a long history of tyrannical rule and generally being oppressive in areas regarding civil liberties, he has taken his jerkery to a new level recently, for attempting to impose his will by imprisoning three members from the Russian all-girl band Pussy Riot.

They look like harmless little ladies, no?

Anyway, three members of the band—Maria Alyokhina, Nadezhda Tolokonnikova and Yekaterina Samutsevich—have been in jail for five months, and now face seven years in prison for “hooliganism” for their music, which is anti-government, and more specifically, anti-Putin.

Yes, they have been imprisoned for singing songs against the mighty Russian president.

Here are some of their lyrics from one song:

Virgin Mary, Mother of God, put Putin away.
Put Putin away, put Putin away.

And here’s a refrain from “Putin Got Scared”:

Revolt in Russia — the charisma of protest
Revolt in Russia — Putin got scared
Revolt in Russia — We exist!
Revolt in Russia — Riot! Riot!

Okay, with lyrics like that they could be accused of crimes against humanity but so could anything the Black-Eyed Peas have written and you don’t see Will.I.Am in shackles. (Yet.) Maybe it loses something in translation, da? Still, they’re only singing songs, granted, ones that inspire a revolutionary spirit. I suppose it’s possible that they don’t have the old “sticks and stones may break my bones” adage in Mother Russia. They do like bears on bikes, so it’s not an all-bad place.

Regardless, Putin is a jerk for encouraging this to happen, but what locks it up for him is this (from this AP story): Putin said last week that the punishment should not be “too severe.”

Too severe?!! How about “Putin says, ‘Geez, they’re only a bunch of crazy musicians expressing themselves—maybe there SHOULDN’T BE ANY PUNISHMENT AT ALL!”

Then again, if he did say that, then he wouldn’t be a jerk, now would he?

And remember little blogeroos, Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in Connecticut History (sadly, pussy riot free), comes out on Sept 18. Express your freedom by pre-ordering it from Amazon.