So after NOT winning a Pulitzer Prize (yet again), I’ve begun to question my “career” choice. As some of you may have seen on Twitter/Facebook, I was toying with the idea that I might be better suited to being a human cannonball, although I was pleasantly surprised that no one really suggested that the idea of shooting me out of a cannon was an excellent place to start.
Anyway, I realize that writing is probably what I should be doing, but I figured that re-training might be in order, which would mean going back to school. Of course, the idea of me heading back to campus at my advanced age is laughable on many levels—heck, as my son likes to point out, I was there when they first came up with the idea of counting.
Me: “How many fire we need to cook mammoth?”
Thag: “More fire than we have, like fire plus more fire.”
Me: “Fire plus more fire? How that?
Thag: “We could … count number of fire needed to cook mammoth by using fingers. One fire finger, two fire finger, five fire finger …”
Me: “Oww, head hurt thinking this … let’s just have sushi again.”
I thought it might make more sense for me to look into online courses. I went to my alma mater’s website to see what they offered via the intrawebz … Business administration? Computer science? Education? Nursing? Really??!!
What type of practical areas of studies are these in this Internet Age? Really, what needs to be offered by any school truly interested in becoming online learning relevant are courses that would be better in tune with how people are living nowadays, which is pretty much online.
As always, I’m here to help, you know, because I continue to be a giver.
In that spirit, here are—
The Top 14 Online Courses That Should Be Offered in An Increasingly Intrawebz-Centered World
1. The Psychology of Vaguebooking
2. Winning on eBay Isn’t Always Winning
3. (Very) Basic Punctuation and Grammar for Message Boards
4. Anatomy and Dissection of LOLCats
5. FARK Memes and Impact on Post-Modernist Thought
6. Self Help Independent Study: Resisting the Urge to Tweet About Every Bodily Function
7. Internet Porn: Why Pay for the Cow When You Can Get the Milk for Free
8. The Gentleman’s Survival Guide: Feigning Interest in Pinterest
9. Dealing with the Stress and Reality of Fantasy Sports
10. Learning What NSFW Stands For Before A Visit with Human Resources
11. There’s No Cure for Going Viral: How To YouTube Your Own Groin Shots
12. The Art of Google Fu
13. Conspiracy Theory 101: There’s Really No Such Thing as Too Crazy
14. Rule 34: Learning How to Unsee Things
Courses are filling up now …