the friday five: *not* my last words

Okay, quick and morbid this week.

As you all know, I tend to obsess about my death a bit—when I’m going to die, how I’m going to die, where I’m going to die, will I win a Darwin Award in the process …

I think sometimes I’m so fascinated by it because I know that as sure as I’m typing these words, I am going to die, yet I have absolutely no clue about any of the details. Again, since I can’t control what will happen, I’d like to have some say over what will *not* happen.

So foresight being 0/20, here are:

Five Statements That I Hope Aren’t My Last Words

1. “Hey kids, watch this!”

2. “I don’t think it bites.”

3. “Wait, those aren’t mimes coming out of that tiny car!”

4. “Now did Regis say to cut the red wire or the green wire? I think it was the green.”

5. “Hang on Salma, it’s almost unzipped.”